People Always Leave
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in life is that people come and people go. If you’ve spoken to me, to any extent, you most likely know that I believe certain people come into your life for a purpose and then they may go before you believe it’s time. Some people will be there for life and other’s may just be in passing.
Whether or not this is true, isn’t the point. This is how I’ve chosen to view my world and how I’ve coped with those who have left me, but also, those I have left behind. Often, it isn’t the most graceful exit when it happens. This causes us to be heartbroken as we rack our brains for the cause or reason—wondering if it was something we did. Sometimes it is because of what we did (and that’s another conversation entirely), but most likely it isn’t.
Maybe a lover came and went and you’re lost on the reason why. Maybe you grew close to someone, deeming them a best friend almost instantly, and then they leave you high and dry. Maybe it was a random conversation with a cashier that left you questioning and thinking about what was spoken. Maybe it was a parent, sibling, aunt or uncle. These people who leave can be blood-related or not.
Each time this happens, I let myself grieve. But then I try to dissect the situation. What could I learn from this experience to avoid it the next time? Was it opening up too soon? Trusting too fast? Or maybe it was my first heartbreak, but I also learned about my first love. Maybe we both just matured and separated. Often, it can be spun into a positive situation once there has been enough healing and time that has passed. Usually, through our upset and anger, we are able to take off the rose-colored glasses and properly see who they were or are still, too.
Sometimes you need to be the person who walks away. Maybe someone is causing you a disservice but you’re too kind to upset them. Or maybe you’ve never walked away from a situation before because you know how painful it’s been for you. There’s no simple way of doing so. Some party always gets hurt, even if you speak about it maturely. It’s human nature. We take it personal—and sometimes it is—but we need to learn that we are growing and shedding old skin, surely not everyone can come along for the ride.
If there’s someone in your life constantly bringing you down, causing you exhaustion before you even see them, doesn’t reciprocate the friendship—only takes and doesn’t give, maybe it’s time to evaluate what they are for you in your life. Maybe it’s a simple conversation of discussing the issues or maybe it’s leaving entirely.
You have one life you live and you deserve to share it with those who support you 110%. Those surrounding you—the family (biological or not) you create— should be your cheerleaders when you need it and your shoulder to cry on when things get rough.
There’s an extraordinary amount of happiness that comes from hearing what your friends and family are doing: who’s accomplishing what, who’s traveling where, who’s getting married and having kids, and so on.
A few years back, I would have been envious of others accomplishments, commitments, and journeys. It would have taken everything in me to be happy for someone because I wasn’t happy where my life was going, so why should they be happy? It’s a negative platform and cycle that I hope wasn’t placed on my friend’s lives too often. But now, even at a distance, I’ve been able to maintain the best relationships. I’ve been able to laugh in joy and cry in happiness and be so proud of everything my friends and family are up to. I’m able to be the person who wants to shout my friend’s successes from the rooftop, but I can also try and be the best I can at helping them when they are at the bottom, encouraging them to push forward.
There’s no shame in shedding old skin. Even if people don’t understand why you’re letting them go now, eventually they’ll come to the realization and point in their own life, that they’ll understand. And if they don’t, well then, you know they shouldn’t be in your life anyway.