There are three important types of people in your life.
1) Those who helped you in your difficult times.
2) Those who left you in your difficult times
3) Those who put you in your difficult times.
Take a moment and ponder who these people may be for you. I challenge you not to be sad by this, but to take pride in this list of people.
I’m bringing in a simple idea. The idea of being thankful for people who have been in your life. They may still be there or they may have left. Either way, be thankful they impacted you in some way.
1) Those who helped you in your difficult times
I will never be able to say thank you enough to the people who stood by me day in and day out. I know the people who did will be in my life forever. It takes a certain type of person to be able to manage this and I couldn’t ask for a better group of people to surround me. They’ve seen me at my worst and they’ve seen me at my best. They are the group of people I cannot wait to share my accomplishments with, but I know at moments notice they’d also drop everything for me.
2) Those who left you in your difficult times
We can yell, scream, and cry. We can play the victim in this. That is all important too. You need to feel all the emotions this brings you. It depends on the person who up and walked away as well. By feeling all of these emotions, you’ll be able to recognize how you’ll handle a new person in the future. I’m not saying to close yourself up from any new people, but you may be able to notice signs. I’m here to offer you the idea that people come and go. Some people aren’t meant to be in our lives forever. They are meant to come in, make an impact, and leave. Yes, some people don’t do it gracefully, but you can look at that person as a learning experience as well. With the pain you go through you only come out stronger.
So take this moment and say thank you (in your head) to the people who have left you. You are stronger and living a happier life without them by your side. You don’t need someone who cannot help you at your worst.
3) Those who put you in your difficult times
This is by far the hardest one to overcome. This doesn’t happen overnight. It depends on the person. Maybe it’s a lover or a parent who has placed you here and sometimes the pain you’re in may feel permanent. Take this in, relish in it. And when the time is right, I challenge you to look directly at what happened. Why are you in your difficult time? What is the source of it all? Was it abandonment? Did a significant other just up and walk away? Or was it something else entirely?
Sometimes these are serious issues, I’m not trying pretend they are smaller than they are. I’ve been a victim of this last category for as long as I can remember. I’ve been a victim of abandonment and I have made myself feel sorry time and time again. I thought I deserved it. But you don’t. You don’t deserve the difficult time someone has placed upon you. It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be angry. But when you’re ready and when you start to tackle this, you’ll start becoming grateful. This person may have hurt you, but they are no longer in your life and you are stronger because you’ve been able to rise above it.
If anyone’s asking, those are two incredible statements. They aren’t able to see the person you’ve become. They don’t deserve to and that makes me happiest of all.
If you can recognize these three groups of people: who they are, what they’ve done for you and if it’s been negative or positive, then you’ll be able to start the journey on learning how to love yourself. You’ll be able to recognize the people you need to surround yourself with. You’ll learn how to let go of the pain and guilt people have caused you and you can start to believe in the idea that not everyone is meant to stay. Sometimes people need to leave. By doing this, you’ll be amazed at how much changes in your life, just by focusing on the people coming and going.
I wanted to take this time to compose my own thank you list.
This week has brought a level of clarity that I have never experienced before. My mind was clear of negative thoughts and filled with pure peace. This week, I have reached the happiest I have ever been. I’m not talking about happiness from a single event where you’re overly excited in that moment in time. I’m talking about the overwhelming-bubbling over-smiling like a fool-permanent-happiness.
My mind is clear aside from the thousands of writing ideas/projects brewing through it. This isn’t a bad thing though. I haven’t been this creatively charged in a long while. The negative thoughts have either been accepted and brushed off or instantly changed into a positive thought without my active effort. I’ve found myself going on hikes and connecting with nature more, but while doing so, smiling like a fool by myself. I’m appreciating how much home means to me and the people in it. And for the first time, I believe in myself as a writer. I see the future that lies ahead of me. I am ready to fight for my dreams regardless of what others say. I have goals for next week, a month from now, six months, and a year. I am ready to be headstrong for what I know I deserve. My mind and body are completely connected and my dreams are working along side it.
So I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who has supported me.
If you’re a new reader: Hello! It’s lovely to see you here and I hope the beginning of this post was very helpful to you!
If you are someone who has walked away from me: thank you for doing so. You’ve only made me stronger. You weren’t meant to be part of this story and that’s okay. I forgive you and I wish the best for you.
If you’re someone who has caused my difficult times: I’m no longer your victim. I hope you treat other people better than you’ve treated me. I forgive you and thank you for aiding in the person I have become. I take pride in the idea that you weren’t there for the uphill battle.
Thank you to the new people I’ve connected with on Twitter. I didn’t expect Twitter to be like it is. Everyone is so supportive of one another and I’m glad I’m not the only one who hears crazy characters in their heads! And thanks to my new friend Daniel, who understands my passion and goals. The universe has connected us in some strange way and I’m thankful for it. We may have just met, but you’ve already made an impact. And because I can, I’m shamelessly going to plug him here, go preorder his book!
Thank you to my friends who have been there since day one, through thick and thin. You each hold a special and different part of my heart. You all know what you mean to me. Without any of you, I’m not sure where I would be. You’ve stuck by me when I’ve been so self-absorbed in my head that I could barely get through the day. And now I’m here and present. Not just mentally, but actually in town! I’m ready to take on the day and I couldn’t be happier I get to share these moments with you all. I know that you guys are there for life and that makes me unbelievably excited.
Thank you to my family. We’re a beautiful combination of different families, but we love each other all the same. I am grateful to have been raised in a family like ours and I know the support is never ending. We’re just growing closer and bigger and there’s no greater joy right now than being able to be an aunt to the best nieces around.
Most importantly, thank you to my Mom. The older I get, the more I realize how much you’ve done and sacrificed for me. You did the best job you could and I am proud of you for the strides you’re making today. I know if I ever need anything you’re there and I am so grateful for that.
I encourage everyone to say thank you to those who mean the world to you. You don’t know what will happen tomorrow. That doesn’t really matter though, that shouldn’t be your motivation. The motivation you should have is knowing who is important and recognizing that appreciation. We all want to know that we impact people positively. It won’t hurt to give them a friendly reminder.
Thank you to everyone.
(Thank you extramaddness.com for the statements about different people.)